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101 Improv Games for Children and Adults by Bob Bedore
101 Improv Games for Children and Adults by Utah Improviser and Quick Wits owner Bob Bedore



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Just what provides a wrist watch

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jesster
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Great Lines!  
  Started at Tue Aug 20 15:52:55 2002
Heard a great line/joke/situation at an improv show? Post what it was and who said it here.

-Jesster


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You never know how you'll act in front of an audience until you get there and they aren't laughing.
 
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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #1 Posted at Tue Aug 20 15:57:35 2002
I actually saw this posted on the Web site of John Abbott, the photographer at last year's Chicago Improv Festival. I know it's not from a Utah improviser, but I laughed my head off when I read it:

The Setting
Improv Olympic, during "The Dream", 2 /21 /01
The Set Up
The dreamer, a college student, announced that he had a Tigger tattoo on his backside. When it was called back during the dream sequence, Noah G. walks on the stage and says...
The Line
"We don't say Tigger on this campus. We say Tiger American."



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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #2 Posted at Tue Aug 20 16:04:17 2002
Okay... this was an actual improviser

I was watching the Free Range Improv show at ComedySportz Utah on August 8. They did a musical improv (I got to suggest the chorus, "Satellite of Sproing") and Lincoln Hoppe played the bartender who mostly supplied a supporting role.

At the climax, the heroine of the story (Hailey Smith) was being sucked into space and the other characters were making a people chain to try and save her, but it wasn't enough. Then Lincoln burst in and shouted

"COULD A BARTENDER LEND A HAND?!"

Awesome! Classic example of support and finding a way to reintroduce a supporting character at a key moment. The audience just erupted!

-Jesster



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Andrew

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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #3 Posted at Wed Sep 4 08:48:05 2002
I have to give some mad (and I mean very angry) props to Jon Hamilton for setting up one of the funniest scenes ever. It was a few weeks ago and right now I can't for the life of me remember the damn game. They all just blurr together after awhile. Anyway, the audience setup was a bathroom (of course) and someone set a phone on the stage. So Jon, being the genious that he is, picked up the phone and started taking reservations for the stalls. It was funny. Not just to me either, everyone was laughing. Even the guy in the back who never laughs. Then Jon set up a dress code for the restroom. Bamm. So there Jon, don't say I never said anything nice about you. Also, we need more milk.


Dude, you just killed a goat...and he had a family.
 
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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #4 Posted at Thu Sep 5 17:18:04 2002
Last Modified at Thu Sep 5 17:18:30 2002 by Jonny No No

The game was Director's Cut. And yes, I am a genius. cool

 
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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #5 Posted at Fri Sep 6 08:01:31 2002
What about the milk!?angry


Dude, you just killed a goat...and he had a family.
 
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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #6 Posted at Thu Sep 12 05:36:16 2002
I saw how you fragrently spilled it all on TV. I'm not going to make that mistake!

 
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Andrew

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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #7 Posted at Thu Sep 12 07:34:31 2002
Look, just get the milk or I will be forced to bring Betsy out of the closet.


Dude, you just killed a goat...and he had a family.
 
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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #8 Posted at Thu Sep 12 07:36:33 2002
Leave Fatty Magee out of this.

 
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Andrew

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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #9 Posted at Thu Sep 12 07:38:51 2002
Ha, see how well I set you up.


Dude, you just killed a goat...and he had a family.
 
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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #10 Posted at Thu Sep 12 07:43:53 2002
It's always apreciated.

 
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Andrew

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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #11 Posted at Fri Dec 6 10:14:28 2002

Red head : " Look, I'm not Gay!"

Adam: " Well, get Gay!"

tonguecheesyhappy



Dude, you just killed a goat...and he had a family.
 
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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #12 Posted at Sun Dec 29 18:10:00 2002
Quick Wits' Bob Bedore as Santa Claus in Dating Game (12/27/02):

JD Brooks: "Why should I pick you?"
Bob/Santa: "Because I can get you in the sack and I have a lot of toys!"

And noone called a penalty! Classic!!

-Jesster


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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #13 Posted at Mon Jan 6 11:27:10 2003
At our free workshop - 1/6/03

In the garden of Eden

Jonathan - You're not supposed to eat that apple! It's from the tree of knowledge of good and evil!!

Nicole - Well, I know you're being really mean right now!

-Jesster


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Heather Franck

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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #14 Posted at Mon Jan 6 19:28:30 2003
The Dating Game:
Zach Madsen as a Pirate

Bachelorette: Tell me something unique about yourself

Zach: Contrary to popular belief my favorite alphabet letter is Q

Genius!

 
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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #15 Posted at Thu Jan 16 12:45:35 2003
Pick up lines of the priest..

Steve Uribe steps up and after looking up towards heaven a few times and asking "are you sure?" looks out and says " So, ah God says you like me."
Beautiful


I cut it three times and its still too short..
 
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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #16 Posted at Thu Jan 16 15:27:18 2003


_____________________________________________


That was a pretty good line, if I say so myself.
And I DO.


Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me.
 
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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #17 Posted at Mon Jan 27 16:31:19 2003
This one's also from one of the free kysoff workshops

Bethany: Look, my children know I love them, even if I DON'T do things like feed them...or put them out when they're on fire.

 
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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #18 Posted at Mon Jan 27 16:36:08 2003
oh my god! that's hilarious!

i can't believe i missed that.


 
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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #19 Posted at Mon Mar 24 11:31:17 2003
Last Modified at Mon Mar 24 11:31:46 2003 by jesster

Quick Wits show, Mar 21

Jon Hamilton and I were doing Sound F/X. We were in a prison riot and he found a gun. As he picked it up, the audience member starting doing the sound of an automatic weopn going off.

Me: Turn on the safety!
Jon: Sorry, I'm in for tax evasion! I don't really know what I'm doing with this!

Hilarious!

-Jesster


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Bob Bedore

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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #20 Posted at Mon Mar 24 12:06:29 2003
Jesse,

You are really too modest...

The second best line was when Jon took you hostage claiming he'd kill you if is demands weren't met and, with gun to your head, the audience member started doing the "shooting" sound effect again.

I was laughing so hard I cried when you yelled "Safety!!" as your dying word.

Brilliant!!

That was also the same night as another Sound Effect game with a glue factory.

It's hard to set up, but the phrase "In The Grinder!" is now a part of the standard Quick Wits language.

Bob

 
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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #21 Posted at Mon Mar 24 18:09:15 2003
Last Modified at Mon Mar 24 18:09:42 2003 by Jonny No No

Saturday's 10pm show. March 22nd

Drew Keddington when asked who was killed in Murder Mystery.

"A Pregnant Male Stripping Dog?"

 
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Bob Bedore

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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #22 Posted at Sun Mar 30 14:53:13 2003
Here's a great, GREAT line Paul Weinberger said while eating dinner in Boston Friday night...

We were watching this rather large (and I'm being nice here) waitress working and we were all amazed. She was a very nice person, just very large.

Anyway...

Paul says (like he is talking to the watiress, but she was way out of ear shot) "Man, I am so hungry. I mean I am starving, but I don't know what to order. What do you usually order...

We then started to snicker a bit, but then Paul hit us with the punch...

Paul: Sounds good... Give me half of that.

Just thought I'd share. We were laughing at the extra zinger at the end most of the night.

 
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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #23 Posted at Mon Mar 31 12:21:17 2003
I was at the Clearfield QW workshop saturday, and one of the newer kids comes up for slogans of heaven. He gets up there, points at us and says, "Tell'em Jesus sent ya!"
HILARIOUS KID!
JENtongue


"Grown-up" is merely a state of mind!
 
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Bob Bedore

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Re: Great Lines!  
  Reply #24 Posted at Thu Apr 24 08:05:29 2003
I recently remembered one of my favorite lines ever said in a show. It happened many years ago at a Quick Wits away show. We were doing some birthday show type of thing in someone's basement.

Anyway...

Ben Porter was about to start a scene when suddenly he reached into his pocket and found a small wrench that he'd put in their earlier in the day when we were working on sets. We all saw that he had something strange in his pants and he was a little embarrassed to show us. Finally he pulled out this wrench and then dead pans the line...

"Just tightening some nuts."

I'm so glad my brain decided to remind me of that one. It's pure Ben and I love him for it.

Bob

 
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